Day to Day Challenges.

I think unless you are a person who suffers from a disability,or a long term illness,it's hard to appreciate the ease in which everyday things are done.For example,making my bed in the morning actually drains the strength out of my arms,and requires me to take a rest after.Unloading the dishwasher,or running the vaccum all require a great amount of energy,and to someone who is short on energy anyway,it can be very tiresome,and very frustrating.The worst part of my day is taking a shower.I know that may be hard to believe,but the heat and steam actually cause my heart to race faster and the feelings of dizziness to be much worse.I usually have to do this while sitting down in the shower on the bench .This used to be a relaxing time for me,now its get-in-and-get-out -as- quick-as you-can.All of this being said,I can say on a up note that the propranolol the Dr's have put me on is working well.The worst side effect is nausea,and its usually in the evenings,and it does get pretty bad.But during the day,thankfully,I am for the most part nausea free.I am so glad to finally be on some form of medicine and that it's working for me.All my symptoms are not gone.The overwhelming fatigue is still there,the joint pain,the brain fog,(and more that I know I am forgetting...)are still there,but I can live with those.The relief I feel being able to breathe and NOT have a pounding heart makes those other symptoms easier to live with.Some things I cant cook,anything that involves boiling steamy water,like spaghetti.I can start it,but my husband or son will have to finish cooking it and drain it,because if I do,I may be passed out on the floor as a result of the heat and steam making my heart rate rise and my blood pressure drop. I miss my old life a lot ,and sometimes feel a little bitter about it.But then,I look at the other side of the coin and know how lucky I am just to be alive,and the bitterness goes away.Yeah,this life of mine isn't perfect,BUT it is MY life,and I am grateful for it.